Growing up

The concept of time has always baffled me. It never happens fast enough, then you beg for it to slow down just a little... We are fickle like that. I know I am at least. My youngest child turned 6 years old yesterday. I think I'm handling it well! He's 6 going on 12! That's because that's his brother's age, & he is his biggest fan!

I don't like the concept of growing up not just for my kids, but for me as well. I've finally have began to start being nice to that little girl again. She's not so little anymore...That's alright. Next year, I'll be turning 40! I want to normalize aging gracefully! I'm kind of excited to be honest! New decade. I don't feel like I'm almost 40 most days. Let's just say some days are better than others.

I'm in the season of tons of laundry piled up to the max, house not in order, kids running back and forth through the house being loud! Most days, I'm okay with it, but this is growing up right?!?

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I want to scream from the roof tops and call bullshit! I would rather spend time with my family than clean, but I know for me to work better mentally, I need a clean space to do it in. I've been trying to make the most of this last month. 

As I reflect back on this year, I realize that 3/4 of the time I was probably in auto-pilot mode. I don't like that. I definitely want to be more present! I also picked the guitar back up, writing, and took a few astrology classes. I don't care about having fame for making a song that hits! I mean I wouldn't be upset if that happened. I made a promise to myself that I was going to do more things that brought me joy, whether it paid the bills or not! For the most part, I have kept up my end of the bargain!

I've learned so much about taking care of my little self. If I don't take care of her. I can't take care of my boys, but no one told me this was growing up. Sure paying bills and all those mundane day to day tasks. But what about this dream we were promised? Guess what? 

We were lied to... don't get your panties in a wad! We were all lied to. We were told if we followed the rules and what we were supposed to do things would just happen, but there's a secret to all of it!

Do you want to know the secret? Consistency, Authenticity, Kindness, Networking, Community. All of these things matter in order for any of us to be successful. I mean sure I guess you don't have to be kind to be successful, but it definitely doesn't hurt to be kind. 

I've done a lot of self reflecting this year. We've got one month left of the year. I want to maximize what I can get done before the New Year. So, I guess this is growing up, making sure you make the most out of your time, because when it comes down to it. Time is the most precious commodity we have on this Earth, and I want to spend it with those that I cherish the most.

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